Episode 11: The Audacity of Hope
And I'm not talking about President Barack Obama...
🔗 Links to all sections to skip to what you want/need:
What I’m Thinking About | What I’m Reading | What I’m Watching | What I’m Vibin’ to | Bonus Track: Home Decor Tips & Tricks
What I’m Thinking About
What’s up, yall! It’s been a month or so since I’ve published here. That was unintentional. I started January off like I do every year with the 21-day Daniel’s Fast, and I was very optimistic about 2024 being a lot better than 2023….then that optimism faltered quickly.
I came into the new year ready to get super serious with my job search - I had 4 interviews on the calendar for the first week of the year and 3 for the second week! While it was a haze, I welcomed the momentum and set a goal to have a job offer by the end of January. The interviews seemingly went well and the week of MLK Holiday, I began to get a little anxious because I hadn’t heard back from anyone yet, and tech generally moves fast with hiring.
On January 16th, two of the companies sent messages stating that I would not be moving forward in their process. I actually couldn’t believe it. I was shocked for different reasons - like how one hiring manager claimed I wasn’t experienced enough for a senior-level role and that they were looking for someone with mixed-methods research experience. Dear reader, my last job was at the senior level AND MY DISSERTATION IS MIXED METHODS LOL?! Like, if you don’t want me as a candidate just say that. Don’t insult me.
Anyway, I decided right then that I would begin asking for help because clearly, I was missing the mark on something. I reached out to my director from my last job who gave me helpful tips and tricks on my portfolio (I have to show a body of work in my interviews). I also reached out to the career coach my old job paired me with as a benefit of the layoff to do mock interviews. Then an epiphany hit me - last year, I thought about pivoting roles from being a Senior User Researcher (UXR) to a Senior Product Manager (PM). I let fear get in my way of fully making that pivot last year, but now I decided that I was done letting these companies play in my face for UXR roles. I reached out to friends in my network who I knew held PM roles for any resources, tips, and tricks, and hit the ground running updating my resume to fit this role better.
On top of all of that job stuff, January 22nd marked the 4th anniversary of my grandpa’s death and with the job-related emotions I was feeling, it all hit me a little harder this year and I was down bad. I canceled plans with friends because I tend to isolate when I’m going through things. Then some other not-so-good family news came on Jan 24th and I just broke. By then I decided I needed to tell my friends what I was going through, despite telling them not to call me lmao. They sent me a beautiful bouquet and offered to hang out when I was ready. Shoutout to them - they know who they are!
It felt GREAT to have a good cry and release all of those emotions and energy. I felt so much better after that cry. Whew. The mind and body are indeed connected and I know that even more now after wrapping up The Garden Within by Dr. Anita Phillips (review below) last month.
I started January interviewing with 4 companies and now only 1 remains as I am still actively making my pivot into Product Management. I am still hopeful about where I will land and can’t wait to share my testimony about it all. I am EXPECTING God to show up and show out and place me right where I am supposed to be like He always does.
I’d be remiss if I didn’t add that this is the worst job market I’ve ever seen and the hardest I’ve ever had to work to find a job. I see new layoff announcements every day. If you’re in this boat with me, stay encouraged. If you know someone who is in this boat, reach out and ask them how it’s going. Let them vent. Listen. Make referrals on their behalf. Remind them who and whose they are. You don’t always have to be super positive because it’s necessary to acknowledge when things suck to get through it. Just let them know that you’re there to support them when they need it!
What I’m Reading
The Garden Within by Dr. Anita Phillips
I came to know about Dr. Phillips through an interview she had with Oprah where she talked about her book, her life, and her career. Dr. Phillips grew up in a very religious family with a father who was a pastor. She talks about how her sister struggled with mental illness for most of her life; however, her family didn’t know it was a mental illness, so her sister didn’t receive treatment until much later. As a result of her religious upbringing and witnessing her sister’s trauma, Dr. Phillips is not only a minister but a life coach and trauma therapist.
In her book, Dr. Phillips intricately weaves together the bible and her psychology expertise, allowing us to understand our “garden within”. What I liked most about this book was how she talked about how emotions are stored within our body and provides tools to help us feel and release these emotions. I feel like this book is accessible for people who may want to explore how emotions and trauma show up in our bodies. She did a great job of combining psychology with the Bible in a way that doesn’t make it feel too preachy.
I’d recommend checking out her interview with Oprah and deciding from there about reading the book! I loved all of the anecdotes she gave and was excited to read this book with my friend, Dr. Amber. We had an impromptu ‘book club’ via Facetime to discuss our learnings and how the book showed up on time for us!
What I’m Watching
Can we discuss how these networks cut so many Black shows??? Half of the shows I had on my shortlist to recommend are now canceled and I’m super annoyed. I guess the bright side is that if you’re looking to binge something, these shows are fair game because you’ll be caught up to the rest of us by the time you finish lol
All Rise - watch on Max with no commercials or Hulu
I LOVE All Rise. It’s a court show centered around Judge Lola Carmichael. This show went through it. It originally aired on CBS, got dropped, was picked up by OWN, and then dropped again smh. You’ll notice a few changes from the first season when it was on CBS to the second and third on OWN. It’s still good and one of my favorite shows.
The Wonder Years - watch on Netflix
The Wonder Years was a reboot of the old-school show with a new Black cast. It’s still set in the 60s, but the show was hilarious. While he wasn’t in the show, Don Cheadle narrated the series and added to the humor. If you’re looking for a feel-good show, watch this!
Rap Sh!t - watch on Max
Rap Sh!t was another show on HBO by Issa Rae. It centers two female rappers who form a group in Miami. It follows their quest for fame with their manager, Duke, who is also a pimp? It sounds chaotic, but its really good lol. The show just wrapped its second season and we found out there will not be a third. Smh. I could tell that they found their stride in the second season, so I am especially bummed by this cancellation.
What I’m Vibin’ to
When I do the Daniel’s Fast in January, I also limit my music to listening to gospel and jazz only. I’ll be honest, it’s a struggle initially because there’s almost always a song playing in my head, and not being able to listen to it is tough, but I push through haha.
This year I was happy that while I was struggling with hope and optimism, I had gospel music to lean on and remind me who I am. It lifted my spirits and reminded me that what I am experiencing is temporary. I got tired of listening to my old gospel playlists and found another one that had all of my faves + some new stuff!
This Sean C. Johnson album was on repeat! My favorite songs are “Mountains” and his rendition of the Kirk Franklin classic “Melodies (From Heaven)”.
Bonus Track: Home Decor Tips & Tricks
I want to preface this section with the fact that I am NOT a home decor expert and I often have the help of my friend, design extraordinaire, Quin Gwinn of Quin Gwinn Studio!
Some of you may remember Q designing my Philly apartment when I was in grad school, but before we got to that, I was out here on my own breaking all the rules. I met Q when I lived in Charlotte, and I’ll never forget showing her a picture of my Charlotte apartment and she said “Sis, why do you have your clock up so high?”. I had no idea what she meant until she pointed out that the clock was hanging higher than the door frame it was next to. That was my first lesson in understanding that there are ‘rules’ to interior design.
While I highly recommend partnering with a designer, whether you rent or own, the best place I’ve found to understand these rules and find guides on how to do home decor right is Pinterest (or YouTube). There are so many infographics available and I always make sure to consult these guides whenever I am not working with Q. Below I share a few things I’ve learned over the years after breaking the rules several times lol.
Wall Art Size & Hanging Guide
So you may ask, well, how high should you hang a clock or piece of art? The rule of thumb is that the center of the object should be 60 inches from the floor. This will ensure that the object is at eye level. That high clock was going to hurt my neck trying to look up at it all the time lol (jk).
When the object/art is above furniture, the rules shift just a tad, and there are also rules around the size of the art in relation to your furniture. The infographics below are my favorite for the rules of thumb.
Rug Sizes
Have you ever purchased a rug and when you put it out on the floor, you realized it was way too small (or too big) for your space? Same. There are rules of thumb for rugs in any space in your house, and below I share rug sizes for every room. If you want specific measurements for certain rooms, def look on Pinterest! When I was searching for a sofa at my new space, Q told me to have the sales associate mock up different sizes to see what would look best. That was VERY helpful because it removed the guesswork and I knew exactly what size my rug should be!
Bar Stools
This is another one that I see a lot. Folks generally learn this rule the hard way when they order bar stools and their knees are hitting the top of the counter. Here’s a nifty trick that I learned from Q - if the bar you’re buying a stool for is the same height as your counters, you need to search for COUNTER HEIGHT bar stools. If the bar is taller than your kitchen counters, look for BAR HEIGHT bar stools. This is a foolproof way of making sure your stools are the proper height.
Curtains
Now this one is nuanced and comes down to preference. It also entails a lot of math. I won’t go into rod selection or curtain materials, because I am still a newbie with this one and did a lot of research online once I decided to hang curtains on the main floor of my home. What I will focus on is curtain length and how to hang them. I broke this rule in the past and had no idea, so I wanted to get it right this time. Because I have very long windows and high ceilings, I ended up having to spend a pretty penny on curtains because I wanted mine to drape the floor a bit. The longer they are, the more expensive. I love the look and don’t regret it at all!
