Episode 1: Turning Lemons Into Lemonade
How I turned my layoff into a healing sabbatical.
What’s up, family! (that’s what you are now since I will be 100% transparent in these newsletters….)
This first newsletter will be lengthy since it’s my first one. In each newsletter, I will share What I’m Thinking, which may come directly from my journal and will be blog style. Following that, I’ll share What I’m Reading, What I’m Watching, What I’m Vibin’ to, and then a Bonus Track, which will be some type of resource that has made my life better and I want to share! If the Bonus Track has an affiliate link (meaning I’ll get paid when you click and buy), I’ll be sure to let you know!
Either way - take what you need, leave what you don’t, and share with a friend if you think it will be helpful to them!
What I’m Thinking: Turning Lemons Into Lemonade
The week of July 3rd rocked my world. On Monday, July 3rd, I found out that my classmate, friend, and realtor transitioned tragically over the weekend, on Thursday, July 6th, I found out I was laid off, and on Saturday, July 8th, I let my first house go.
It’s been a while since I’ve been knocked down all at once like this. Losing Cy really messed me up because we’d spent so much time together driving around Atlanta looking at houses. If you knew Cy, you knew he always had a bright energy about him. To add to this, my late grandfather would have turned 66 on July 2nd, and I was thinking about how our Black men don’t get to grow old just before learning about Cyrus leaving us. That was rough.
Nothing else that week really mattered to me. The layoff wasn’t a complete shock since my job told us about the layoffs in June, we just didn’t know who would be impacted. While I was annoyed that they had us working for 3 weeks while navigating the unknown, I know that it could have been worse. I’ve heard stories of people going to work, business as usual, then learning that it would be their last day, sometimes with no severance check. I counted my blessings knowing that I’d get a severance should they get rid of my role.
What I didn’t know is that those of us impacted by layoffs would be on payroll with benefits until the end of August and THEN we would get a severance check! God don’t play about me! So after pushing through that super heavy week, I decided that I would go on a sabbatical. This time last year, I really wanted an opportunity to chill and exhale, but instead, I was forced to look for a job. While I am not in that space anymore due to intentionally resting daily/weekly, I recognized that I received what I once asked for! I took a trip to Mexico to get my mind right and RESET.
As luck would have it, Germanee (my BFF) recently moved to ATL and is “off” during the month of August, so I pitched the idea of an “adult summer break” for August, where we would do a bunch of random non-work related things. She was down, so we compiled a shared list via notes and decided we’d make the most of our time off.
Instead of panicking about not having a job during this wild economy, I instead decided to take a breather and enjoy this rare opportunity to get paid to enjoy my life. My financial planners told me that after getting my severance, I would have 10 months of living expenses saved up - so I am taking the job search slow to make sure my next role is one that I will truly enjoy!
I skipped over a few things in the spirit of brevity, but I’ll be sure to circle back to the adult summer break/sabbatical, trusting my gut and letting that house go, how I was able to heal during this time, and that bomb Waldorf Astoria Cancun Resort experience.
What I’m Reading
Since this is the beginning of the newsletter, I am going to give you all a two-for-one! These two books were critical during my current healing journey, and I want to offer them both to you.
A Renaissance of Our Own: A Memoir & Manifesto on Reimagining by Rachel Cargle
This book came right on time for me, as I am on a renaissance of my own. Sis snatched my edges before I could even reach the first chapter of the book lol
I came to know of Rachel through Instagram and I distinctly remember how she talked about running her business differently. I appreciated learning more about her journey and how it led her to reimagine education, work, and most importantly, rest.
While I know it was important to her journey, the chapter on feminism was hard for me to push through, as someone who has learned a lot about the white side of feminism, and who has studied Black women in the movement. I’m glad the awakening happened in a way that allowed Rachel to call to question what was going on around her.
I look forward to revisiting the exercises and dreaming/reimagining a lot of spaces within my life. I also look forward to imagining my “chosen” self and writing my own manifesto to guide me.
Sisterhood Heals: The Transformative Power of Healing in Community by Dr. Joy Harden Bradford
I thoroughly enjoyed Sisterhood Heals, as this book came during a time when I needed to rely on Sisterhood to get through sudden life changes. I’ve been grateful to experience several sister circles in my life, and I don’t take them for granted. My sisters in Atlanta truly showed up for me this summer.
I had the opportunity to attend the book release party in Atlanta, with my new friend, Dr. Amber Wright. In her book, Dr. Joy talks about finding community/friends online, which is cool since Amber and I met via Twitter. We had a great time at the party meeting other Black women and supporting Dr. Joy (she knew who I was, yall! lol), who is also the founder of Therapy for Black Girls.
I love that Dr.Joy started the book with an overview of attachment styles and childhood trauma/experiences and how they impact how we show up in sister circles. Even if you have strong relationships with your sister-friends, I believe there is something for everyone in this book!
What I’m Watching
I just wrapped up the LAST LAST season of Ted Lasso and I am so sad that the show is over forever. It took me a little while to get into Season 3, as it kind of started off slow; however, once I pushed through, Ted’s charm won me over.
Other shows I can’t shut up about:
Swagger (AppleTV+) - a drama loosely about Kevin Durant’s life. Really really good!
Highjack (AppleTV+) - Two words: Idris Elba.
The One (TV One) - a dating show with Kirk & Tammy Franklin as hosts…I know they are church folk, but it’s messy lol. And Tammy has the FASHIONS!
What I’m Vibin’ to
THE RENAISSANCE WORLD TOUR SET LIST! I am still recovering from seeing Beyonce Giselle Knowles-Carter, chile. Idk if I’ll ever be over it, to be honest, and this was my fourth time seeing her. That woman is not real lol
For those of you who haven’t gone to the show yet, I have something else for you. Last month, my sister-friend, Zalyia Grillet, launched her new business, TechUnleashed, a tech apprenticeship for Black people transitioning into tech. She asked me to help curate a playlist that would go along with the installations she had at the launch, motivating people to unleash their genius. I built this playlist in a specific order, so don’t put this one on shuffle!
Listen here: “TechUnleashed: Unleash Your Genius”
B-Side:
I recently talked to Deena Mckay on the Black Tech Unplugged Podcast where I am VERY transparent about my Ph.D. journey. Check it out wherever you listen to podcasts and let me know your thoughts!
Bonus Track: Grow Therapy
Today’s bonus track is Grow Therapy, a technology-enabled mental health group on a mission to help clients find affordable mental health care. I needed a therapist ASAP, even before July. What I liked about Grow Therapy is that I was able to find a therapist in my network, book/reschedule the session, and connect my FSA card to my profile for payment. Again, I needed someone ASAP, so seeing availability was key for me.
Unfortunately, the therapist I selected wasn’t a good fit; however, she was there when I really needed it. I’ll definitely use it again for the convenience, I’ll just vet my next therapist a lot better lol
Until next time,
Dr. KB