Episode 14: What a Difference a Year Makes
A one-year reflection about my mental health after being laid off
What I’m Thinking About
How long does it take for you to realize that you’re in a storm emotionally? With a literal weather storm, we have signals like clouds or rain drops that tell us a storm is brewing. Unlike the weather, sometimes it feels like our emotions creep up on us without warning (or do they?). I feel like I am pretty self aware, but I have not managed to see the emotional warning signs that tell me a storm is coming until I am in the middle of it.
Last year, shortly after graduation, my emotions were at an all time low. I feel like I was in this space for 2-3 weeks and looking back on it, it was a bit of a premonition on what was to come. One of my friends who also has a Ph.D. mentioned that I could’ve been grieving the end of school. While that sounds ridiculous because I was ready to be done, it could have some truth to it! There were a lot of things I didn’t get to do as a graduate student as a result of COVID and sometimes closing a chapter can bring about mixed emotions, even if you’ve figuratively or literally moved on already.
My summer 2023 emotional storm was likely a combination of things, but I just could not shake it. This is not the first time that I’ve been in a proverbial storm while good things were happening and the pattern I’ve found is that I experience this while in transition. I remember being super depressed around the time I was resigning from Apple and leaving Cali to move back to Charlotte. I didn’t realize I was depressed until the storm was actually over. While I knew great things were on the horizon for me and I was living life on my own terms, I was still very sad in the midst of it all because moving across country is a lot and I was trading a lifestyle of stability (tech employee) for a lifestyle of randomness (social entrepreneur).
It’s been a full year since Cyrus passed, I was simultaneously laid off from work, and my grandfather had another birthday that he wasn’t on Earth to celebrate. As July approached, I was a little apprehensive. I wanted to plan around those dates to give space for any heavy emotions I would have; however, I was surprisingly okay. I know for certain that grief can come at the most random times, so I was okay with the fact that all was well. In fact, I was grateful for a break emotionally.
I am grateful that when someone reaches out to me because they want to know how I am doing, I can honestly say that I am doing well! My bills are paid, my mind is sound, I’m still enjoying life in Atlanta, and I am in a little groove with moving my body consistently. Work is technically still in limbo since my contract is over in October, which means I need to figure out if I am renewing my lease in September or not…..but that’s for me to figure out in August lol.
Until next time,
Dr. KB
What I’m Reading
Pardon My Frenchie by Farrah Rochon
Rating: 4/5 stars
While I am not a dog owner, I really enjoyed this romance novel! If you love an enemy to lovers plot - this book is definitely for you!
Ashanti is the owner of Barkingham Palace, a dog boarding business in NOLA. When Thaddeus, the grandson of one of her favorite clients, storms into her business and her life, everything changes. Their dogs go viral and force them to have to work together as the stardom of their dogs continue to rise. Underneath the tension between Ashanti and Thaddeus is an attraction that heather of them want to admit.
Whether you love dogs or not, be sure to add this cute romance novel to your list!
What I’m Watching
I just wrapped up The Resident on Netflix and per usual I am really late to a really good show lol. I loved that it was based in Atlanta, but it threw me for a loop in the first season because they turned The High Museum into a hospital and I just could not wrap my head around it at alllll! I was especially upset with myself for being so late to the show once they had Malcolm Jamal-Warner AND Morris Chestnut on the show at the same time. Talk about eye candy.
Are yall already hip to The Resident? If not, def check it out if you’re interested in medical shows!
What I’m Vibin’ to
This weekend me and my friend Latesha went to the Hiatus Kaiyote show and their lead singer honestly sounded better than their records, if that’s possible?
Some of my favorite tracks by them are Get Sun, And We Go Gentle, All The Words We Don’t Say, and Red Room. Last night I realized that I really don’t know any words to most of these songs, but their vibe is just so funky!
Their new album, Love Heart Cheat Code just dropped and it’s fire of course. Give it a listen!
Bonus Track: TSA Pre-Check & Global Entry
Vanessia, this one is for you lol.
Yall. If you travel more than 3 times a year and/or go out the country at least once a year, please go apply for Global Entry. Do it now! Right now! Here is the link.
I am sick and tired of learning that people I know who are on planes A LOT don’t have either of these travel benefits. Y’all aren’t tired of standing in long security lines, TAKING YOUR SHOES OFF, and taking your laptop out your bag? You should be.
Global Entry is only $100 for 5-years, which is $22.05 more than TSA Pre-Check ($77.95), but you get two benefits in one. Global Entry expedites your customs process once you land back in the states. I’ve literally never stood in a US Customs line and I’ve been out the country at least 10 times. And no, I will not wait for you to go through these lines lol. I’ll see you at bag claim or in the lounge.
The process for each option differs though. TSA Pre-Check has a quicker process with a 2-5 day minimum processing time and you can probably get it quicker if you go through Staples. Global Entry requires an interview and getting those scheduled can be a bit tricky, but it’s worth the wait!
Post-grad depression is so real! Def experienced it after undergrad and my 1st grad program. You had a lot going on at once last summer, so this def makes a ton of sense.